I was doing so well. I haven’t thought about the situation in ages. Too busy trying to improve at work, I suppose.
Then today I woke up… with an immense overwhelming feelings of love for you. It was so hard to wake up this morning, I almost just stayed in bed – my medication was out anyway, I would’ve felt like shit the rest of the day.
With having a melatonin induced rest I was able to get up without problems. Once my mind was focused elsewhere, I was able to move past those feelings and regain my strength. The rest of the day was fine.
Then when I came home and logged on to facebook. I saw your beautiful face – and I broke down – a wave of emotions hit me.
I wondered how you were – trying to tune in using psychometric energy. I picked up you were single and not in a place to pursue anyone.
I clenched the blanket and wrapped it tighter around me. I just want this living nightmare to be over. I want so many things. Sometimes when I think about it, I feel so, so empty.
I miss the way you moved, the way you made my heart sing. The warmth I felt, the energy… and my biggest fear is that I will never find someone that will make me feel that way again.
Which is why I hold on. But holding on is a bit self-destructive.