One can’t just move on. When someone says to me, “Just move on”. It’s not that easy and those words just make me angry. It’s hard to forget a moment in your life when you were floating on a cloud in heaven, with someone who is filling a piece of your heart that you’ve been yearning for all your life.
It’s hard to forget a moment in your life when that same person pushed you off that cloud and you landed on the ground and it broke every inch of your body (and heart) into a million pieces. But, yet somehow you are still living.
- Somehow you wake up everyday and face the pain.
- Somehow you still seem to live on, in a whole new world without them.
- Somehow you go about your day and not break down with every thought about them that enters your head.
- Somehow you have created a new life, a life that excludes them, when just 5 months ago they were your everything.
- Somehow you are forced to think that they do not believe in true love and happiness and that they don’t see the same in you as you see in them.
- Somehow you have to live on without contact from them, which makes it even more painful as they convinced you that they’re living a normal life, one without pain.
- Somehow you just live, knowing you had the feeling of living in ecstasy and then it all came crashing down on you tearing apart your heart and soul.
18 months later, it may be all a memory but the ghost of the pain still exists and haunts you every day. A pang in the heart, a pang of yearning, desire, longing to return to that cloud in heaven – yet you have to look up at that cloud from the ground and pick up the pieces slowly and continue to heal.
Kristi Beisecker is a graphic designer, photographer, printmaker and alternative scientist whose interested in making images through two contrasting elements. She is also a blogger in lifestyle, travel, wellness and health, art and design, beauty and fashion.